The 29,931 Day Diet Plan - Copyright Stuart Macfarlane

Days 4740 – 5008                           Puppy Love Panic

Puppy fat has mysteriously started to appear and your tummy and bum begin to expand. This is all the more disastrous because you have just started taking an interest in the opposite sex and have therefore become neurotic about your appearance. Everything you eat seems to go straight to your stomach, bum or those luminous, facial zits. Nevertheless, a sign of your increasing maturity is that you now endeavour to eat and exercise in a manner that will keep your body in peak condition.

Breakfast : Burger and coke.

Exercise: Brushing teeth ( alternate days only )

Lunch: Burger and coke.

Exercise: A twenty minutes snogging session behind the school sheds.

Dinner: Burger and coke.

Exercise: Walking from the school to the car – which mum has parked ten foot away from the school gate.

Supper: Burger and coke.

Exercise: An extensive TVathon